Member-only story
Why Michelle Williams Is The Survivor We Need to Embrace
2018 is almost done, and so am I. From beginning to end, it’s been a non-stop sob fest that has me wailing for the ones that I will never see again. I’m also inconsolable with the current status of an existence, that has been kicking my ass long enough for me to be out for the count.
But I’m still here, fighting for the right to keep fighting.
After being traumatized by abuse at an impressionable age, my emotional state went into overload in order to compensate for my inability to process what transpired. The coping mechanisms have done an enviable job when I consider how much more extensive the damage could’ve been, but the price of not seeking the professional help I will need forever is taking its toll.
It’s also the erratic hormones and the middle age syndrome that embraces all the fears you’ve been running away from, and packages them up in neat little buds, that attack you at the least opportune time.
I’m still not sure if crippling life-long depression runs in my family, or if I would’ve been spared the curse if only I hadn’t been violated. Either way, it’s here to stay, and over the years, I’ve done the best I can to tolerate the unexpected darkness, that overwhelms and lingers with the vengeance of foggy threats.
