Why I Might Go Back To The Flip Phone

Okay — maybe not in theory — but I do fantasize about going back to simpler times — when phones didn’t cost as much as rent — and phone bills were reasonably priced.

Flip phones also have a quiet dignity to them — that’s enhanced by their simplicity. You have to flip it before making calls — and I liked being able to do that because it was the reminder that this isn’t a high-priced gadget — that contains your life story packaged into one — but rather a phone that permits you to reach out to those who matter.

Now we log around mini-computers that are designed for our discomfort.

We allowed greedy fucks to tempt us into believing that we deserve to be tormented with the task of forking out hundreds of dollars for the sheer pleasure of being able to produce short films and flawless selfies — even it means sacrificing the ability to have uninterrupted conversations with callers — who can never hear what the fuck you’re saying.

The advancement in technology was the next frontier — and while I can’t downplay its significance — I also can’t honestly say we’re better for it.

I look back at how things were in 2006 — when I was struggling to get by with temp jobs that I prayed would last longer than a couple of weeks — and I can’t imagine how I would’ve been able to keep my phone active — if I had sold my soul to Apple.

Back then I had a flip phone that wasn’t at all fancy — but it got the job done. It was my lifeline to potential gigs that were meant to keep my modest bank account from flatlining. The saving grace was the fact that my phone bill was minor enough to not cause a major headache when it came to payments.

Fast forward to a decade later — and I’m always perplexed by how high the numbers are when that time of the month comes around. I compare it to what I was dealing with before iPhones made their immaculate entry into the porous marketplace — and I’m astounded at the vileness of it.

We were much better people before we signed up for a mission that none of us will ever complete.

This endeavor to be better and to continuously seek the stuff that will make what we already have seem absolutely worthless — regardless of how well it served us — is the spinning cycle that doesn’t make us dizzy.

Whenever I watch an old movie and notice the characters flipping their phones to yell in an emergency — I immediately revert back to that person who would’ve defiantly refused to spend the amount of dough that should be reserved for down payments for tangible items — on something that does everything except what it was actually designed to do.

As I reconcile the purchase amounts — upgrades — and phone bills that never get better no matter which of the providers we sign up with — I become enraged and envision myself ending it all for the glory of re-claiming my sanity.

We all desperately need a time out from the scheming minds of entrepreneurs who are profitably doing a disservice to mankind.

There’s a very good reason why people are in debt — now more than ever — and money spent to remain in good standing with the ever-changing trends at the expense of your credit score — may seem like a worthwhile gamble when you peep how well your Instagram page is flourishing.

But — then life happens and suddenly a flip phone really isn’t such a bad idea.

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