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What’s Wrong With The Viral Peloton Commercial?

It’s perfect!

You know shit is beyond maddening, when a fucking commercial about a high-end exercise bike causes the stock market to to arm wrestle with panicked traders, who have undoubtedly been trained to anticipate the craziness of this theatrical climate.

Truth be told, I had never even heard of the fitness equipment manufacturer, Peloton, until the strong feedback confirmed how we can’t ever go back to the good old days, when we could casually watch non-threatening content without the temptation to needlessly dissect it to death.

TV commercials have rarely deviated from the cringe-worthy and annoying interruptions, that run the gamut from downright tacky to blatantly nonsensical and painfully contrived.

Apart from the tragic use of the catalog of musical gems, that are criminally poached for ads that feature everything from medication that halts the literal shitfest to the elaborate reminder about how aging is the nagging buzzkill — there’s also the general understanding of why streaming is the preferred method of viewing.

Why does everything have to mean something, especially when there are tangible items that should be holding our attention, way more than the nationalized craze over a forgettable segment, showcasing an attractive woman, gleefully receiving a pricey present from her hubby.

It’s the holidays!

Reputable brands are going all out, all day everyday, and into the night, with nonstop advertisements, that relentlessly bombard consumers on every single screen that we possess.

Instagram is flooded with the flashy marketing hashtags of celebs, pseudo-celebs and influencers, who are convincingly basking in the glow of whatever they’re getting compensated to hawk to impressionable followers.

We are embodying an era that was built to accommodate the narrative of how transformative expensive shit can be, particularly when your significant other is a #baller, who is able to afford the luxury of an exercise bike that cost about $2200.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving with the staying power for the most-liked post, ever!

The commercial of everybody’s discontent also shows the rewarded wife dutifully reflecting the natural reflexes of staged selfies, and the recordings that will mean so much a year later.

The accusations of sexism and classism may have valid entries, but at the same time, it’s hilarious and even hypocritical to dump all our pent up venom on a TV commercial, that committed the unforgivable sin of flawlessly packaging the main culprits of our unhealthy obsession with unattainable perfection.

The critics were quick to point out how the wife was already in great shape, before she got the exercise bike and registered spin classes. It seems her husband was creepily taking ownership of her body by regulating her weight, with the gesture that evidently didn’t come from the kindness of his heart.

And there were others who remarkably sensed the woman’s nervous energy, as she awkwardly documented her workout sessions, as proof of her struggle with the forced invasion of a high-powered machine that she will never escape.

The list of gripes go and on and on, which is typical for anything that encourages dialogue, and the input of various perspectives that could be similar or drastically different, depending on the factors that map our individualism.

The issue isn’t whether or not Petolon royally fucked up the messaging of their ambitious ad, because at the end of the day, any amount of attention from the virus of over-exposure is a welcomed marketing tool that will do more good than harm.

It’s really about the insatiable need to make a mountain out of a molehill by taking advantage of glaring discrepancies, that are representatives of the damning themes that we aggressively rebuke on TV, and yet regularly worship in everyday living, with clicks and burgeoning look-books on lucrative platforms.

It’s hard to imagine a more appropriate holiday ad than the one that has been ceremoniously voted the least favorite, by the same folks who would swiftly trade their existence for the one they pretend to reject.

I mean come on!

This young woman is living her #bestlife, which is the standard requirement for anyone who wants to maintain the level of online engagement that doesn’t elicit the side-eye.

She also boasts the added bonus of a devoted husband who didn’t have to be bullied into getting something that anyone of us would be thrilled to have.

How can it be that in this extended period of gluttony, that exacts crippling pressure to keep up with the highest of expectations, dictating the “best of the best” at all times, a singled-out, TV commercial that endorses our normalized superficiality, is suddenly too graphic for viewing?

People are living way above their means in the desperate attempt to woo and maintain brand sponsorships, that will readily mail out a slew of fancy furniture pieces for your Instagrammed apartment.

Yes, the stuff from Peloton isn’t cheap, and I sure as hell can’t afford that shit!

That’s why it would be #dope if I had a generous guy in my life, who is willing and able to surprise me with what I didn’t know I needed, until it arrives with a price tag that instantly elevates my status to #relationshipgoals.

The only thing wrong with this active conservation has to be the misplaced judgements and wasted time and energy, on the targets that purposely mask the bullseye of how and why we arm big name brands, with the audacity to mirror the ugliness of our surfaced desires.

We can’t eat our cake and have it too, or perhaps we can for awhile, but eventually we are tasked with picking a side.

It’s almost 2020, and our ability to sustain ourselves is inherently and shamelessly weighed by the measure of how many “likes” we are able to garner to prove our worth.

I’m pretty sure we’ve chosen the wrong side.

And we sure didn’t need a TV ad to school us on that truth.

Or did we?

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