Yep. It happened. But not in the way you think. We became close. It was unexpected and sweet. We took a trip for fun in the sun and when we got back we were pretty much done.
We were going to be friends for life.
They say the stars align in order to prepare the way for what it is to come and what will be.
She’s a Virgo and I’m a Taurus. That instantly makes us instant bedfellows.
Okay. Let me stop bullshitting.
Seriously, though. My close friend who I’ve shared some of my most memorable phases with and who knows the stuff that only she can know and vice versa — has left me.
She’s been emotionally and physically kidnapped by a man — of all things.
We used to go through bottles of wine and wrappings of Quarter Pounders scoffing at the audacity of relationships.
The best was when we were on the train. Couples would enter and exit or sit and stare at us as we avoided eye contact.
They were trapped in the figment of their imagination. Surely they must wish they could run free and not be tied down to each other.
Girls searching the faces of the guy who was almost always slyly checking us out.
We would chuckle as we stumbled out of the train. As we trudged the dirty snow on the ground and raced to the liquor store — in a matter of minutes we were home toasting our carefree dispositions with glee and sincerity.
Single gals. We rule!
But our golden reign has come to an end. Everything I relied on and we both idolized has evaporated.
My once girlfriend in crime is blissfully connected to another.
She loves me still but loves him more. She no longer has any use for the times when we defaced the value of being vulnerably besotted.
She’s now in the realm we playfully discarded and I’m watching from the outside. Not laughing or jiving or even mocking but gazing with admiration and longing.
I’ve never felt more alone or disarrayed. My disorganized thoughts propel me to acknowledge that she was half-assed when we were free and I was all in.
Or maybe I’ve been to hurt or too scared to admit that my symptoms hid a much more serious diagnosis.
Either way — losing your girlfriend to someone else who needs her more than you is a painfully shitty realization.
It’s also a challenging feat that destroys the wall that once impeded my surrender to anyone who dared to scale it.
She’s in love and I am sober. Anything is possible.
And I am ready.