Was Jennifer Love Hewitt Shamed Into Apologizing For Looking Like a Normal Mom?
This isn’t an attempt at defending Jennifer Love Hewitt — but rather my way of trying to use her as a prime example of what happens when analytics from your Instagram page — is the deciding factor on whether or not you get the job that you’re beyond qualified for.
The thirty-nine-year-old actress best known for the nineties gem — I Know What You Did Last Summer — is currently promoting her new show — 9–1–1 — the latest from Ryan Murphy’s vault of hits. Naturally — she was required to attend the Fox Upfront event — as part of her cast member duties.
The day after her appearance — Hewitt took to Instagram and released a heartfelt and long-winded apology for looking a “hot mess” — and blamed her apparently disheveled state on the “humidity” in New York City and the unexpected “12 hours long” schedule that only made things worse.
“It has been a really intense couple of days. Like, so great, so blessed — but intense.” “We go to the Upfront yesterday and nobody tells me the day is going to be like 12 hours long and the humidity is going to be almost 100 percent in New York City. So, I just have to apologize. Wearing a black suit? Not a good idea. Not wearing enough hairspray and teasing in my hair? Also a bad idea.”
“I just have to apologize for how wrecked I look in all the pictures that have come out. I was literally melting. By the time I got to the red carpet, I was honestly melting.” “My hair was flat, my makeup was running off my face and I looked like I had completely forgotten I was an actress in this business who is supposed to look [perfect] when you step on the red carpet.”
“That is not what I’m going to look like on the show. I’m going to have makeup on my face. I’m not going to be sweating. I’m not going to be overwhelmed by being in front of a red carpet and crews again. Honestly, I apologize.” “I should’ve really gotten it together!”
Hewitt goes on to explain how traveling with toddlers for the first time presented quite the challenge — but thankfully they were “ballers” and “did a great job.” She also gave a shoutout to her hubby for holding her down during the flight to New York — since air travel heightens her anxiety.
As gracious as it was for the actress to take the time to assure her fans that her horrific pictures won’t be replicated either in real life or on her upcoming show — there seems to be an even more terrifying narrative at play here.
The apology almost seems like it was mandated by nervous executives who took the unnecessary advice from assholish social media specialists — who recommended instructing their new hire to clean up an invisible mess — before it becomes visible.
You can tell that they got to her and provided “talking points” — because of the bit about promising not to look like shit on the show — thanks to the makeup department — who will keep her face sweat-free. And of course that part where she takes responsibility for her negligence and blames it on being out of practice — due to familial duties — that kept her away from the spotlight.
Here’s the thing — Hewitt doesn’t look a “hot mess” in any of the published images — in fact she looks refreshingly normal.
It’s a pity that she was shamed into owning something that’s simply not accurate because of the crazily unrealistic expectations — that force us to believe that we can’t live another day unless we post blemish-free selfies — that filter out the beauty of our imperfections.
How dare she show up on the red carpet in a plain black suit — showcasing what a married mother of two little kids would ordinarily look like on any given day.
The audacity of not submitting to the advanced preparation that narcissistic celebrities with an army of handlers — employed to do everything from picking their teeth to propping up their human accessories — is astounding!
How insane of her to do the job she was paid to do by showing up in one piece — with a pleasant smile on her face — donning an ensemble that is stress-free and effectively appropriate for the occasion that she successfully attended — drama-free.
The last half of her apology is a painful reminder of how actresses are constantly under pressure to swiftly bounce back to the “Hollywood standard” after giving birth. It explains why outlets are over-flowing with scrap books of celebrity moms showing off their tiny waists — weeks after delivery. Heck! People magazine has a page devoted to this disturbing trend — that feeds into the falsehood of our existence.
“I’m going to be killing my boxing workouts again, getting in great shape mentally, physically and emotionally for all that’s ahead when we start the season. I’m just feeling really grateful, so I hope you’re excited. I’m excited. And I’m really sorry for looking like a hot mess on the red carpet yesterday. Oh, my God! I was so hot! I was like literally melting. Like, melting. Melting! But…I had a blast!”
It’s sad that Hewitt didn’t resist the urge to needlessly apologize — by grabbing this epic opportunity to congratulate herself for being the authentic representation of what it’s really like to be a working mother — juggling a high-profile career.
We can’t rely on the ridiculousness of Kim — Kylie and Khloe as the blueprint of “having it all” — because those women don’t have it all. They have themselves and everything else are add-ons. We can’t overdose on portraits of Kylie decked out in designer duds — pushing her infant daughter in a custom-made stroller — while showing off her surgically-enhanced body. We can’t stomach Kim’s flat stomach that wasn’t stretched out for the third biracial baby — that she’s cooing over during Snapchat sessions.
We need Jennifer Love Hewitt to love herself enough to be unapologetic about her inefficiency at deceiving the public — about how easy it is to travel the world on a private jet with kiddies that sport Instagram pages — that adults shamelessly follow.
Looking like a normal person is the only thing that makes sense in this Black Mirror-esque climate — and that’s absolutely nothing to be sorry about.