Superheroes never hide

Tomi Lahren Is a Name To Forget, But, White Women With Cutey Complexes Deserve to Be Heard

So, here we are

Ezinne Ukoha
5 min readDec 6, 2016


So, I won’t even bother to give you the background to this latest media sensation because I assume you know enough about Tomi Lahren. Hopefully you know way more than I do. I hate myself for even attempting to expose what a farce she is but as a writer and activist — it’s simply something that I must do.

She’s only twenty-four.

The amazing thing about the climate we presently inhabit — is how much we flock to anyone who boasts enough followers to make your goosebumps rise above your scattered hairs.

How is it even remotely conceivable that a young girl who has barely eroded her twenties — is now bequeathed with the honor of being intelligent enough to speak of matters that are so very blatantly beyond her reach?

She is the host of her own show — Tomi — for a website called The Blaze — that plays host to her outrageously sacrilegious views on race and politics. This is a blonde-haired sphinx who matches the aesthetic of what White America receives as the banner of acceptance and what Black men perceive as their one-way ticket to everything that will finally make them American without the “Black.”

Oh! She’s adorable!

How can you not fall for a slender, youthful and incoherent superstar in the making who spews out words that are badly constructed with a delivery that always leaves me with a headache — as I try in vain to make sense of the disorganized jargon falling from those rose-colored lips.

The New York Times did a feature titled: Tomi Lahren: Young, Vocal and the Right’s Rising Media Star.

Lets dissect that for a minute — shall we?

First off there is no way in hell that we would be faced with this monstrosity if Lahren were a feisty broad with overly-broad shoulders, short dark hair and a weight that outweighs the limit of shallow Americans.

The obsession with feeding the youth culture by making sure whatever they provide is distributed accordingly even if the edges are poisonous is and always will be the standard for middle-aged losers who feel the need to cuddle rather than scold.

It absolutely doesn’t take astute dedication to the issues at hand or the brilliance of a noble soul hungry for results and uninterested in fame to guarantee the makings of a social media star.

You just have to be a loud-mouthed provocateur — who understands the needy and uneducated. You are assured that the bigots who dwell in spaces far removed from reality — will soak up every syllable without fail. They don’t disappoint and even remarkably — you end up garnering the attention and invitation of the very people that you are fucking over.

Trevor Noah is an asshole for inviting Tomi Lahren to The Daily Show.

I’m almost positive that if Jon Stewart had remained in power — he never would have granted an audience to a racist bitch who has no idea what she is talking about and even worse — believes her own rhetoric to the point of madness.

Media outlets were so quick to examine the public meeting between the two and concluded that Noah won the debate.

Silly! Of course he didn’t win.

She won! She was given a platform to advance her propaganda in a forum that until then was deemed as respectable. Now we know better. She was able to expertly shrug off her shiny blonde locks whenever they got in the way of being able to move her lips — in a vocal tirade against institutions that were erected to protect the dignity and rights of marginalized people that continue to be oppressed by White America — daily.

She fucked up Colin Kaepernick. She fucked up Black Lives Matter. She fucked up President Obama. She fucked up Black America.

Lahren was supposed to appear on The Breakfast Club but declined. Charlamagne Tha God met up with her anyway as a peace offering and the pictures of them are splattered everywhere.

This Black man, Tha God! admits that he “enjoys her show” and identifies with “her political incorrectness.” He thinks that Democrats need to engage the likes of Lahren, but then, he is forced at times to “remind myself that some of the rhetoric she puts out there is troubling.”

Wow! And then we still wonder how on earth Donald J. Trump won the election.

Holy God America, what the fuck!?

How did we get here? How is this our main source of nourishment as a culture? Social media has done so much to hurt the very fibers of our being. To the point that the Black men who cried out when Tamir Rice, a 12-year-old boy — executed at a neighborhood park — are now the ones dining and celebrating a racist White chick who most likely will hate herself senseless five years from now.

Black women can’t get away with being careless with thoughts and words. We can barely wear our hair in the fashion that it was created. We have to be forward-thinkers and impeccably resolute in our choices — which have to coincide with whatever enterprises we sign up for. We are not given the freedom to allow the wind to sexily mess up our hair and dull the senses that are supposed to save us anytime we are feeling socially mischievous.

No, that honor will always be reserved for White women.

They can be as bad as they wanna be because the world will forgive them and in the process of cutting them a break — there are talk shows to invade and book deals to sift through.

Oh, to be a White woman with the landscape that lays-in-waiting as you high jump through the terrain that flattens to accommodate every landing that usually involves pummeling the ones that are punished for your enhancements.

I am not an angry Black woman. I am certainly not bitter or envious. I comprehend the times we live in and I give recognition to those who are too cowardly to stand up for the ones who didn’t deserve to be snuffed out before their time — and made into sandwiches of exploits for the likes of Lahren to feed on for her up keep and meteoric rise to the top.

I hope she continues her trajectory and I pray nothing stands her way. I wish her nothing but greatness and I am confident that my prayers will be answered.

She’s a White woman! There is nothing better. She will always be rescued from her faults and valued above all else. If she sheds tears Black men will fight White men for the benefit of making sure they don’t stain her satin fluffed pillow. I really pray this plush state of mind continues to keep her saintly and deplorable.

God always makes my nightmares come true— so I am sure He won’t disappoint.

Tomi Lahren was a name we were supposed to forget, but White women with cutey complexes deserve to be heard and celebrated.

So, here we are.

Here are some of Tomi Lahren’s best hits. Enjoy!