Sunday is Fuck Day Because of Eve and Adam

Ezinne Ukoha
2 min readAug 7, 2016

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I finally figured it out! Like a bolt of lightening that propels the sky into a rage of acknowledgment and registered glory — I get why Sunday is the day of rest and worship.

Eve ate the fruit that the serpent prepared with her in mind. Slithering towards her with the hopes of turning their dalliance into more than just a casual connection — he spiced it up!

He attempted to persuade her that all that dopeness was for him — but this goal was reactivated towards the man she really wanted to taste.

Till kingdom come.

The plan backfired because the portion ended up boosting Eve into submission by elevating her awareness — to the fact that she was a hot chick with assets that won’t quit. God, the father was horrified that his purposed creation had developed a mind of her own. This meant that she was capable of making choices based on her immediate needs.

She needed to fuck Adam and she wasn’t relying on anyone’s blessings to make that possible.

God was pissed and cursed them with the blessing of being human.

Christians think that Eve’s orgasm fucked them over — but it really saved mankind.

It also created the day of rest and compulsory adherence to the Lord above who needs to be reminded that He matters — despite the pleasures of the body that He gave us.

Jesus Christ! Sunday is fuck day.

We need to clean ourselves and praise Eve for realizing the power of sexuality as it pertains to human relations and the rewards of the flesh.

Not the curse.

Everything revolves around the grind of animals that can be more evolved if they reject enlightenment and stick to the scriptures.

Sunday makes sense. It’s the first day of the week. It’s the day of repentance and humility.

It’s the day to get dirty and clean again in one fell swoop.

Amen!

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