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Where’s my name?

Now I know why people want to be verified on Twitter

I tried to get verified twice and didn’t make the cut. My feelings weren’t hurt since I would’ve been more shocked and confused if I had been offered the blue tick on the first try.

I’m not much of a marketer — especially when I’m the product that needs to be beefed up for acceptance and verification. I hated all my retail jobs — and the only reason why the gig on the Upper East Side lasted so long is because of how very little work goes into convincing a preppy crowd to partake of items that were inspired by their culture.

I’m pretty sure that if I had put more effort in the presentation and really poured my heart and soul into the commitment of securing my rightful place among those who did exactly that when it was their turn — I probably would be sporting the coveted symbol next to my name.

But — it’s highly doubtful that I would be any happier now or even more fulfilled as an engaged user.

In fact — since I made up my mind to never again apply for verification — I have been stalking the winners — armed with the badge of relevance — and after almost a month of intense study — I can admit that I totally get why people want to be verified.

The big plus that comes with this honor has to be the fact that people actually pay attention to what you have to say. It’s almost as if every word you share is an original thought that nobody has ever conceived — even though in reality — that’s far from the truth.

For example — I can tweet something about the blockbuster — Black Panther — and at most garner 10 likes and 2 retweets — while someone I follow who sports the blue tick — will tweet something similar that doesn’t even match my wittiness — and attract hundreds of likes and retweets in under 5 minutes.

Your wattage is scorching hot when Twitter blesses you with evidence of dopeness. You can tweet a sentence about cheese that is practically meaningless and within seconds — an army of followers and those who just added themselves to your collection — will descend on it with a level of loyalty that is both impressive and off-putting.

You also have the ability to publicly fuck up those who deserve it and the ones who maybe didn’t warrant such harsh treatment. I’ve seen shit like that unfold and it is not pretty. Heaven help you if you dare challenge the owners of the blue tick — because not only will you fail in your endeavors — but you will be eaten alive by the maddening crowd — who don’t give a damn whether or not they’re misguided by the “tick.”

That blue fucker always wins. If you’re tickless — you have to restrain yourself or suffer the avalanche of curses from strangers who are faithful only to bots or the gods in blue.

There’s also the business deals and financial rewards that are easier to arrange when you’re socially viable for such things. You can effortlessly reach out to studio exes or celebrities — and they will get back to you in a jiffy. This mode of communication fascinates less fortunate users who can only dream of such magical commands. We can’t even get editorial folks to like our tweets or even respond. They byspass us by spending their reactions with like-minded tickers because birds of the same feather…

But — going back to the movie of the moment — Black Panther — and how its much-heralded arrival a week ago initiated a movement that was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I would’ve been more thrilled if it didn’t mean being treated to graphic spoilers that were expectedly delivered from the ticker community — who could’n’t resist throwing their weight around — in favor of outdoing each other in the realm of choreographed tweets — serving as the precursor for the rain storm of think pieces that still haven’t let up.

The responsibilities of a social media star has shifted considerably in the last seven years. Back in the day — only movie stars or anyone with a household name — had to go through the tedious process of being”verified” in order to protect them from the vicious attack of replicants.

Then the powers-that-be glanced over months of research — and determined that it made sense to extend the “verification” honor to regular folks in order to continue the quest of creating the “black mirror” tendencies that are working like a charm.

Everyone is everything. Activists are cover girls — Instagram models are authors — writers are therapists — and it goes as far as you can handle once you’re assigned the permission you need to dictate to your followers exactly why they need to hang on to your every word.

The competition to over-power each other is intense and if you’re tickless like me — you have nothing to worry about because the rules don’t apply to you. That’s because you can’t play. You can only watch and try your very best to stay out of the way — when the fury of whether Killmonger is a better villain than Joker — wages on.

But, don’t mistake my tone for a sense of righteousness that is used to bury my deep-seeded envy of those who are more worthy. Whether or not I remain unverified doesn’t change the fact that I’m willingly part of a community that has been set for detonation — with the assurances of no survivors.

When it’s presented so dismally — there’s no doubt that it’s way better to perish with the blue ticker. Either that or die nameless — and nobody wants that!

Written by

Juggling Wordsmith. I have a lot to say!

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