Melania Trump, Doesn’t Really Want to be Melania Trump

Yeah, I know the speech that was supposed to make America fall in love with the woman brave enough to share a bed with Donald Trump has quickly become the scandal of the year.

But — listen, does it even matter that the model who sounds like she literally just discovered America 24 hours ago — was coerced into uttering sentences that she couldn’t even recognize?

Yes. It does matter.

What happened on Monday night was grand theft on a public scale. And now — Mrs. Trump is lounging somewhere wondering when her time will finally be up.

She’s had a enough of this shit.

It was in full view from the moment she emerged in white with her perfectly coifed tresses providing security. Those eyes needed to be lined deeply in order to impede the bright lights that threaten to disable the walk and turns that betray everything.

Melania Trump doesn’t want her current or proposed title.

It’s not hard to imagine why. Look at the fucking shit show she’s been regulated to — and don’t say she’s a gold digger and deserves her misery.

That’s a weak argument. Even a woman who looks like a million bucks and accommodates being inconvenienced for millions more — should at least be able to blink steadily when she’s around the man who made her.

The ill-fated performance that has now sparked a media frenzy that will enjoy a very fast and furious demise — can’t Trump the biggest reveal of them all.

The couple fighting for space at The White House may need more room to survive the inevitable.

Melania Trump is done with this overpriced party that requires a higher tolerance than any of her past gigs combined.

It’s hard being a gorgeous one with so much at your disposal. And yet just an escape route will suffice.

Run Melania, Run!

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