Maria Sharapova is Going to Harvard Because…
White people can do bad things and get away with it?
Apparently so. She was recently accused of doping. She’ll know her fate in July.
But, in the meantime she has two years to chill and rock the privilege of being an entitled white tennis star with mandatory “time off.”
A mini-vacation that’s been spearheaded by her accidental participation in unlawful activity — which got her rightfully suspended.
Despite what was supposed to be an embarrassingly and humbling period in her life and potentially the abrupt end to an enviable career — Maria has managed to astutely rise above the public disgrace and loss of lucrative contacts.
She’s headed to Harvard Business School this fall — because that’s the natural next step for a blonde ace with so much global appeal that it has to count for something.
The utter truth is that I don’t mind so much that Maria Sharapova is a Russian goddess who was built for greatness.
And it’s no big surprise that an Ivy League institution would welcome her with open arms because why wouldn’t they? She’s the perfect specimen. She belongs.
My issue is with the fact that I can’t imagine Serena Williams gaining entry into any University with a reputation to maintain — after suffering the global humiliation of being labeled — a druggie.
Black people and drugs don’t necessarily evoke a future that includes a gratifying rebound.
It’s more like choke-holds, handcuffs, beatings and the end of the road.
Look, I’m not the racist police or the angry black woman who lays in wait for the opportunity to pounce whenever it’s clear that white people are once again getting cuddled for their high-brow crimes.
I’m just the infuriated black woman who watches a very happy white woman — collect the reward for not just existing but aptly surviving the controversy of a lifetime.
There is no way a black woman athlete would be granted the reception of choosing how best to navigate her block of banishment.
The media would relentlessly harass and aside from the “fuck you” from formerly invested brands — the pungent climate would suffocate any chances of a comeback.
Even the rage and passion of Black Twitter defending their own would pale in comparison to the dismal silence of perforated defeat.
Serena Williams would be chewing on her walking papers while trying not to choke.
But, not Maria Sharapova!
She stepped outside the stringent boundaries and still emerges victorious — thanks to her latest announcement.
She tweeted her shock and awe once her admission was confirmed. She might’ve honestly been truly caught off guard.
Harvard most likely instigated the ploy as a way to stay socially relevant by rebooting it’s elite roster — and giving our dear Maria much needed credibility.
When you’re accused of doping — you need to leverage that filthy business with the marble refinement of a polished education.
It’s the only way to tackle the negativity when you’re Caucasian and beloved for your mighty serves and endless long legs.
When you’re a Black woman with even swifter serves — encased in a body that cannot be adequately defined — the world hates what you’ve become. You’re not real. You’re an animal on the loose that should been caged.
Once you fuck up. Just that once. You are done. No more cheers. Just the jeers that were always there — but louder. No opportunity to rebrand, refocus or relaunch.
White is always right even when it’s so wrong. And we take it because that’s the law as it pertains to whatever the hell made it so.
But, I’m not angry. I swear!