It Takes a Black Man Married to a White Woman to Reduce Our First Lady to a Palette

I’m utterly exhausted. The steaming heat and the expectation of the night was almost enough to bear until I peeped the most insulting and mind-boggling statement that was supposed to endearingly uphold our First Lady — who happens to be the very first and probably the last of her kind.

Van Jones — a political commentator and author who is regularly hosted by CNN decided to convert what is by far the most shining glory of Michelle Obama’s revered tenure — into swaths of shit.

Jones — was overcome with emotion (eye roll) while watching the speech that captivated the night at the DNC.

In fact — his reaction was so intense that he was forced to remember the days past when the First Lady was growing up in Chicago — a time when dark-skinned women were considered ugly and useless.

Yes, those days are over folks!

Things have changed for the better. We are now embodying a time when Black women — particularly the ones who can’t can’t pass “the brown bag test” to save their lives — can have it all!

Case in point — Mrs. Obama — who not only married the most handsome man on earth — but also managed to overcome her disorder by defeating the remarkable odds of being an Ivy League trained lawyer — and the most respected woman in the world.

She didn’t let her dark skin hold her back. What a feat! What a woman!

What a crock of shit!

Thank God I have enough energy left to box Van Jones with my venomous offerings. I can’t let this shit stew any longer.

First off — there is something delightfully symbolic about a Black man married to a white woman who feels the intense urge to sum up a speech by an intelligent woman with degrading references to her skin hue.

Only a Black man would dare go there.

Jones is clearly not comfortable with his heritage. He obviously harbors a level of confusion about who he is and what that means in terms of his overall disposition.

Marrying a white woman was obviously his way of solving the problem of self-worth while ensuring utmost validation which he is unfortunately still seeking with zero success.

I’m an equal opportunity dater but this tendency has nothing to do with my insecurities. That’s just the way I roll.

I grew up in Nigeria and Michelle Obama was raised in Chicago. We’re both regular black women with no agendas — except the desire to stand out based on our achievements that filtered through our upbringing and ambition.

I’m not attempting to compare myself to Michelle Obama. I’m simply demolishing the filth that was spewed from the lips of a man who doesn’t quite grasp the fundamentals of Race 101.

Jones’ comments didn’t go over well on social media and his need to verify the meaning behind his garbage proved even more pathetic.

Black activist and self-professed spokesperson for all things related to the Black community — Shaun King tried to rally on his behalf — but I made it clear that we didn’t need his services. This time.

Van Jones is repping his kind flawlessly. He marries outside his race as a cushion for his misplaced emotions. Then, when they come to a boil — he blindly interprets them as a way to assuage his guilty.

Using our First Lady’s moment in the sun as an escape route is beyond disgusting. Not to mention inflammatory and embarrassing.

The speech that held us at attention from start to finish was delivered with the backing of a competent subject who was born to lead and succeed regardless of her skin tone or complicated features.

Also, Black women are still being persecuted and ridiculed.

Nothing has really changed in the last forty years except that we are getting older and Donald Trump’s KKK membership is now at platinum status.

Jones’ responses to the onslaught of criticism reveals a very troubling symptom that most Black men who remarkably hit the “big time” — tend to harbor.

Check this out:

“Of course, First Lady is classically beautiful!! I meant how our dark-skinned sisters were dissed generations ago.”

Huh? What does that even mean?

“I’d just stopped bawling maybe didn’t come out right. But was thinking of my own dark-skinned sisters, teased so bad.”

You’re right Van Jones — you were all the way wrong with this one. You exposed your dire relationship with colorism. You used America’s First Lady as a punching bag without considering the consequences of your ill-fated summary of events.

You joined the ranks of many before you — who publicly reduce Black women to a puddle of nothingness by the stroke of a brush — brimming with the palette that has cost us dearly for generations.

You’re the worst kind of Black man. That’s definitely a truth worth your tears.

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