Photo: Getty Images

I Knew Serena Would Marry a White Man

I don’t really know.

I guess I couldn’t see a Black man proudly showing her off the way Jay Z parades Beyonce, the way P. Diddy showed off Cassie, the way athletes and overrated rappers strike poses with their Whitewashed pets — decked in diamonds and well-invested asses.

She’s fierce, unchallengeable, a celebrated champion, and highly competitive. She’s not a wallflower, a pushover, a demure subject with doe eyes and puckered lips, a bleeding leftover — hoping to be devoured by the next line, a masochist who waits in vain for the men of her race to rescue her like a daffodil on the cusp of being squashed by the wind.

Definitely not insinuating that her prime characteristics make it ridiculously hard for her to gel with men who share her delightfully dusky hue, the truth is that her prime status does and did make it hard for men who share her delightfully dusky hue to woo her efficiently and with a level of mighty pride.

Instinctively, I knew that the most powerful woman in sports would not be booed up with a men that buy into the narrative of her robotic physique and scheming features that don’t fall under the category of delicate and globally sound.

She’s a tough one — a well-packed mound of flesh that moves in a rhythm that demands careful manipulation — unless you want to find yourself on your back begging for mercy.

No, not that kind, I mean the version that’s less fun.

Her engagement announcement has been greeted with a circus of reactions that produced the expected range of ire and glory. Her dating life was exposed when she was linked to the rapper/actor Common and the one and only Drake.

Those opportunities wore out and after that — she remained under the radar. There was no indication that she was in a serious relationship. All we knew was that she looked incredible during her frequent jaunts to Miami and had peaked in her career in a way that made us wonder what was next.

Now, we know, and it’s basically black and white.

Do the math.

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