Being a writer sucks. Being a good writer sucks even more. Being a great writer is great because that means you’re a bestselling something or other.

But just being a writer is the worst.

You have to write, and write, and write some more and it’s still not enough.

Also, you will be whored for nickels and dimes because being a writer means you have other ways to support yourself that don’t involve being a writer.

Being a writer is less than ideal because if you want to be somebody — you have to be somebody.

You have to get a ton of people to like you so much that they become addicted to every word you shit out.

You have to learn how to be seamlessly obnoxious in order to trap the kind of attention that will freeze your soul but free your bank account.

Being a writer is a fucking joke.

You can express yourself in plain words but you also need to translate your words into numerical templates that calculate whether or not you are making sense.

When you damn well know you are.

Nobody cares about what you think unless the awesome people do and even then it’s critical that you care even less about what you have to say because the more you care the more at risk you are to be classified — as a writer.

And you don’t want that. Never that.

You never want to be known as a writer.

Writers hate being writers because it doesn’t pay and you end up writing about how miserable you are and everyone likes it.

They love how fucked up they’ve made you and they ask to help spread your words around so you infect more people with your genius.

As they profit from it — you realize why you hate being a writer…

In the first place.

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