“Stay out of my way!”

Dear Tyrese, The “Fast” Franchise Belongs to Luke Hobbs , Because “The Family” is Dead

Okay, so please indulge me as I try to have a little fun at the expense of my favorite person and the reason why the impressiveness of “views” became a thing for me.

Tyrese Gibson, 38, is the triple-threat that we all know and love, and he’s earned that adulation — particularly when you scan the trajectory of the Pepsi commercial (the one without Kendall) through the Baby Boy phase — and the culminating moment when he became Brian O’Conner’s impossibly charismatic side-kick — Roman Pierce — in 2 Fast 2 Furious.

We’re “Fast” and beautiful

Truth be told — the chemistry between Paul Walker and Tyrese Gibson should’ve been righteously exploited. It was like the Lethal Weapon dynamic that gave Riggs and Murtaugh a great run — so good that even the television version is kicking ass.

There’s no refuting that the second installment of what eventually became one of the most lucrative franchises ever — was a pretty shitty movie — but it’s hard to fathom how the unbeatable team of two exceptionally hot men — driving Miami wild with fast cars and faster girls — managed to evade the greedy throats of lazy studio heads.

The Family was later revived in 2009 — when stylized director Justin Lin — decided to re-brand the franchise with the basic elements of familial ties and enduring loyalty.

By the time Fast Five — hit theaters in 2011 — it was very obvious that the “ride or die” mantra was in full effect. The world lost its shit at the sight of Dom and the extended members from the past — racing the streets of Rio with a vault of cash and the charged up chargers — with Brian and Dom at the helm.

You can’t fake this shit (Fast and Furious — 2009)

Word on the street is that Vin Diesel worked diligently with Universal Studios to ensure that his production company would be conjoined with the future of Fast — on every level — and this arrangement gave Diesel producing credits and the power to delegate and hire.

Paul Walker was desperate to have Tyrese back — and he made that known at the glitzy L.A. premiere of Fast and Furious 4 — and even during the press tour where he bemoaned the absence of his road dog while vowing not to return for a “fifth one” — unless Roman was coming back.

Pay attention after the 1:47 mark

Walker got his wish — and that was mainly because of the magic of the fourth film and how losing him would be almost catastrophic. So yeah, Tyrese, Luda and the other dude from the original as well as the guy from the third one and the future Wonder Woman from the fourth one — all came together to mint gold.

Fast Five is the best of the lot because there was a cohesiveness that organically held The Family together — as they battled the modern day version of “The Hulk” while maintaining eyes on the prize — against the backdrop of Rio de Janeiro.

The global box office results for the fifth movie certified that smoother roads were ahead.

The addition of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the relentless soldier of justice — Luke Hobbs — was beyond genius — as the stakes were higher and the love for blissfully varied pieces of a uniquely complex unit— on the run — became the mascot of tremendous success.

Fast and Furious 6 was even more engrossing as the family expanded to include new members — specifically Hobbs — who was on a mission to solve a case and help retrieve Letty. Also, Dom saved his life, so his loyalty was a done deal.

Furious 7 was going to be even more crazy with the addition of Jason Statham and the lass from Game of Thrones — as the story of revenge and risking it all for the one you love — continued under a different director James Wan) and an ambitious schedule.

The family died on November 30th, 2013 — when actor Paul Walker who embodied the iconic role of Brian O’Conner for over a decade — died as a passenger in the sports car that he should’ve been driving.

Furious 7 survived the impact of the insurmountable loss with the affectingly erected tribute to a much-loved member of a Family that we all grew to love and admire.

Then, The Fate of the Furious hit and the results delivered the monetary requirements that studios pray for — but the state of affairs in the realm of “family” was cleanly rebranded.

Tyrese is great, but when he reduces himself to a whiny bitch —it’s hard to root for him. He does it a lot — and earlier this year — the piece I used as my response to one of his careless tirades — garnered the largest interest of my career.

Now, months later, the newly-married action star who can’t help his addiction to self-pity — recently posted a response to the revised date for the ninth installment of the franchise.

The film will be released — April 2020 — instead of the previously planned date of 2019, and Tyrese is evidently livid at the official delay. He posted his anger on Instagram — as he openly berated The Rock for being so solid — that he was shamelessly claiming a brand he didn’t help initiate — back when racing was actually the point.

Dear Tyrese, “The Fast” franchise should be assigned to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson because your family is dead.

There was the hope that the very first entry without the winning presence of the chilled-out temperament of Brian O’Conner would be able to rely on the staples of tradition for survival.

But, it was not to be.

Fate of the Furious was sloppy mess that showcased the shattered glass of Brian and Mia through disconnected scenes and the mystery of Dom’s baby that couldn’t possibly exist — since it’s impossible for a woman to be pregnant over a year.

And even if Elena miraculously and bravely gave birth in secret — what would be the motivation behind such drastic move?

The days of Roger Ebert are over because social media users now dictate whether shows or films — live or die. Critics have been coerced into the profitable world of bullshit, which explains why the eighth film got a passable score.

The family has been broken up because the heart of the franchise is no longer alive — and his legacy is begging for peace.

Christening Dom’s overcooked baby after the birthright of Brian — basically gave Walker’s death its due — and signed off the fact that unbearable grief can’t overcome the wear and tear of a tragic reality.

Tyrese is pissed at the notion that Luke Hobbs is poised to overtake the road blocks of a fiery crash that deserves to be buried with the past — as the future features a whole new unit.

Dwayne Johnson rejuvenated the Fast Franchise in ways that still connect him to his celebrated nemesis Vin Diesel — who famously butted heads with his competition as a publicity stunt for the then upcoming Fate of the Furious.

The original concept of “family first” has faded into the pieces of a memory that’s still fresh, but unfortunately can’t be replicated. None of the core characters in the eighth movie demonstrated the closeness that keeps the themes of the corporation activated.

The lass from Game of Thrones seemed misplaced and sadly underused — her only reactions were reserved for Roman’s tired-ass comebacks. Letty seemed bored and sad. Tej was weirdly familiar, and everything else seemed foreign.

The only bright spots were Johnson and Statham — who were partnered together for a reason.

The Fast franchise benefited from simpler times when the culture could handle the “rebel without a cause” initiative with the backing of well-represented misfits.

But times have changed and the formula demands numerical feats that translate into dollars and cents when a big-time star attempts to leverage the field of riches.

Sometimes, family can’t live up to expectations.

There is the threat of inner turmoil — as life’s surprises pose something beyond what could be conceived. There’s no way that Dom could abandon his team without Brian speeding him to recovery.

I wrote about how it was time to give Brian the demise he deserves — but, I have to admit that Tyrese’s ultimate nightmare sounds pretty good to me.

Luke Hobbs needs to own that shit and Roman needs to beg for a piece of the pie or STFU.

There’s no sense continuing a narrative that no longer applies. The “golden boy” is long gone and even Michelle Rodriguez is done feigning her loyalty.

The Family is dead and instead of trying to stay in a lane that is headed nowhere — maybe it will be resourceful to switch over. The franchise abandoned the thrill of local adventures a long ass time ago — and once the speed limit was increased — there was no turning back.

The Fast and The Furious will always be the 2001 blockbuster that served its time valiantly — when clicks translated to actual attendance and the organic moments of brotherhood.

Those days are over and now we need action-packed mayhem with the Rock-hard solid muscles of a social media celebrity star with enough clicks to be Furiously Fast.

Fate has spoken — and Hobbs Cruise Control is slated to overrun the nastiness ahead. The spinoff featuring Hobbs and Shaw will hit theaters in 2019— which is why Tyrese is heated as fuck.

Yes, it sucks when money talks and you end up on the wrong end of the equation. But you can’t bite the hand that feeds you, especially when it saved you from extinction — back when Roman Pierce wasn’t the shit. You have to give respect and then step aside when mandated.

After all, that’s what we do for family.



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