Dear Taye Diggs, Please Don’t Ever Change, Black Women Don’t Need Black Guys Like You To “Lift Us Up”
It’s utterly ridiculous that I’ve been forced to write this — but Black History Month is about to be done — plus I have some pent up frustration from earlier in the day that I need to demolish.
So here it goes!
Actor Taye Diggs has been trending lately and the reason for the sudden interest has everything to do with the comments he made during his recent appearance on The Red Pill Podcast with Van Lathan.
The two men talked about everything and anything — and of course the conversation moved into Diggs and his penchant for White or non-Black women. As expected — the actor who made White women swoon in 1998’s How Stella Got Her Groove Back — didn’t disappoint when it came to exposing the level of gross narcissism that Black men of notable status usually display.
When Lathan encouraged his guest to delve deeper into his issues with Black women — Diggs admitted that when he was about 13-years-old — his own mother once told him that he would end up marrying a White woman. This was after he peeped the picture of a Black woman in a magazine — and declared — “Oh she’s pretty, I want to marry her.”
That story sounds kinda whack — but if that’s what happened — that pretty much explains why Diggs is stunted in his mental development.
The actor then goes on to point out the tragic consequences stemming from the avalanche of negativity that he’s received from Black women over the years — who’ve basically assaulted him throughout his career for performing the unfathomable sin of marrying a White woman — at the height of his fame.
Diggs and Idina Menzel have since parted ways — and based on the images of the women that he’s been linked to in the aftermath of his divorce — it’s clear that old habits die hard. His current lady friend isn’t White — but she’s as close to it as you can possibly get.
Yes — it’s true that Diggs and other Black males in the industry like Jamie Foxx and some others that I can’t immediately recall — do get somewhat beat up and relentlessly teased for their adherence to the philosophy — that they must procreate with White or non Black women in order to elevate and sustain their noteworthy status.
Now — that doesn’t mean that being an “equal opportunity dater” is a vile concept in the Black community because that happens to be one of my favorite activities. However — when I do explore other races — it’s not because of my nagging insecurities or the overwhelming need to prove that I have what is required to attract a White dude — who can finally give me the biracial kids I’ve been craving. It’s really the freedom to ensure that by keeping my options open — I have a good chance of ending up with my best match.
Men like Taye Diggs are the worst kind of Black men to Black women — and I know I assigned this previously to Tyrese when he took to Instagram to condemn our grooming habits — right after announcing his surprise marriage to a woman who doesn’t look Black — but these dudes all possess similar tendencies when it comes to knocking down Black women to lift themselves up.
If his mother could tell that her young son was destined for greatness and would therefore need a White woman to compliment his good fortune — then obviously Diggs was raised in a climate that fostered that way of thinking.
There’s also the damning evidence that proves that Black men who habitually date White women or women that are ambiguous enough to avoid being classified as “regular Black women” — tend to be unfairly hostile to Black women —as if it’s their way of absolving themselves of the guilt they harbor over their self-hatred.
That has to be the logic that inspired Diggs to issue the most ridiculous testimony regarding his victimhood:
“It took me a minute to not be offended. Deep down inside [there’s resentment]. I don’t wanna say I suppress it, but I just watch it. When it happens to you personally, even though you understand the logic, there’s trauma there.”
If you think that’s bad — check this out:
“I don’t know if I can ever mess with a white girl now,” he continued. “I don’t like that. That goes against who I am as a person. I feel like I’ve had [to] deal with that so long it has changed what I think I like, what I’m attracted to.”
Lathan — goes on to remind Diggs that Black women are essentially “one of the most devalued groups in America” and so it becomes the duty of Black men to “uplift and celebrate Black women.”
Here’s the thing — we absolutely don’t need Black men like Diggs to “lift up Black women” because they aren’t even capable of lifting themselves up. They are so paralyzed by the fear of what they are that it makes it impossible for them to truly appreciate the women they were born to love and honor.
The viral infection that is colorism — is quite prevalent within communities of color — and the victims are mostly Black men who work hard as fuck to erase the strain of Blackness that is considered a handicap instead of a feature that should be protected with pride and authority.
The fact that Diggs truly believes that the ire of “the angry black woman” has cursed him into weathering faculties that have malfunctioned to the degree that he can no longer handle the possibility of fucking White women ever again — is an atrocious accusation to levy on Black women who in all honesty don’t give two fucks who the hell this wacko fucks with.
And that’s another symptom that Black men who don’t know themselves at all — tend to exhibit — which is the misguided assumption that their rules of conduct somehow interferes with our temperament by making it hard for us to function under the stress of their betrayal.
There’s no doubt that some of us are aware that most of the Black men that date women of other races — indulge for the sake of proving that they can do better. It’s almost like a rite of passage — especially when they’ve achieved the American Dream. It certainly doesn’t do much for the ego when you have to come to terms with the fact that these men prefer women that represent their high expectations — which inevitably means that you don’t quite measure up.
That being said — there’s more than enough of us who also recognize that men who share the same brain cells that Taye Diggs has been tasked with — are really better off with their preferences because Black women who are into men — need real men for the job — not faulty versions that throw hissy fits when they don’t know how to handle the brutal truth regarding their terminal illness.
Spending a lifetime — devaluing your worth as a Black man while desperately searching for ways to correct the mistake that made you who you are is beyond tragic and really explains why men who suffer from this crippling mentality — end up using Black women as their disposable bins.
But — just because we understand the disease — doesn’t mean we deserve to be penalized for our observations or unyielding loyalty that really comes from a place of self-love — which gives us the strength to be civilly accommodating — even in the midst of blinding messiness.
At the end of the day — Diggs said it best when he responded to Lathan’s point regarding how Black men dating White women does very little to “celebrate Black women.”
“In order for us as a people to move forward is to learn how to love yourself and to not make excuses, the more time you spend pointing fingers the less time you’re going to grow as a person and the less you’re going to be able to move forward.”
The funny thing about that statement has to be the fact that Diggs was directing this to Black women — which is not only psychologically screwed up — but is also the classic case of how guilt can disorganize and trick the mind into giving advice that is really meant for the giver.
I hate that I spent so much time on this — but I can’t let Black History Month fade away without standing up for my sisters against the forces of ill-will that continue to flow from Black men — who have been conditioned to believe that it’s permissible for them to publicly demean Black women for the pleasure of maintaining a facade that will eventually crumble.
And when that happens — guess who they’ll run to?