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Merry Xmas.

A&E Gives The Best Christmas Gift Ever!

But, the wrapping remains intertwined in a fog of hate

A&E’s Escaping the KKK was once Generation KKK. The former title was eased into something that was supposed to be easier to digest for naysayers who couldn’t comprehend how a show about White people who hate Black people, but get paid to pretend that they no longer harbor those instincts, could have the audacity to exist.

Social media went into overdrive and so did I. I read the tweets and I retweeted and liked the ones that aligned with my thought process. I also tweeted my displeasure and anger and one of the producers of the show reached out to me.

Check out the exchange below:

I was nice to him. I don’t enjoy being a bitch unless it’s reasonably unavoidable. As you can see, he was sold on the idea that America deserves to know the truth about an organization that has existed since the beginning of time. He felt that it was worth documenting the fact hat White people do have a conscience. They do get to the point of disgust and remorse and once the cameras start rolling — the need to do the right thing overtakes the joy of being a celebrated bigot — embraced by a community that needs them to stay that way.

But, Reality TV is a stagnant tunnel of discourse. We all know by now that what we see on the screens of choice isn’t actually real. There are scripts, drafts, re-writes, meetings, rehearsals, and then finally the check made out to participants who give way less than what they accumulate in funds.

A&E decided to scrap the garbage that was supposed to be prettied up for TV, but ended up being thrown into the disposal of negligence and apologetic reenactments that took way too long to perfect.

As always, White America never quite understands how to deal with Black America in a way that guarantees a level of empathy that serves as an adequate portion for both sides of the spectrum.

Actress Ellen Pompeo tweeted her anger about the show that never was but in an effort to do the right thing — she gained ire from users once she made it seem like her allegiance with a Black man that produced a child of color — made her worthy enough to be an activist and a victim of reverse racism.

I won’t get into Pompeo’s messiness because you can easily move the sheets and find the stains.

What I will say is that Christmas for me isn’t what you might suspect.

I never quite know what I believe in and I can’t explain why my beliefs are shabby and inconsistent. Each moment of a new day — produces an array of emotions that are torrential in delivery and scary in receipt.

The crowds around me are energetic in the quest to maximize this period of time when the lights keep the night sky purposely acidic. I accommodate the season because I am alive and well. I tolerate the music and the cries of babies who don’t want to be passed around like prized medals because I was instituted to the tradition — and no matter how hard I try to denounce it — the residue however faint, remains infused in my psyche.

I can’t remember the last time I received a present that meant so much and fulfilled the core of my preferences.

That changed when I got the bulletin about that show on A&E that grew into a weed of discontent and then was hacked away by the ones that always do all the heavy lifting without the solace of being privileged and empathetic — died a sudden death.

These People do what they do without the freedom of announcing how much they care as if the very notion of such an effort demands a resounding acknowledgment of how being White and Bright can lead to danger. Especially when you dare tweet from your abode on the hill and comfortably describe how incensed you are that racism exists.

This latest victory is huge. It’s big, but not big enough.

The wrappings for me are stuck in the maddening and sticky gauze of what the future holds. We have assholes like Carl Paladino — a close ally of our future president who vocally expressed his disdain for our current president and his wife. The language he chose and the description of his wet and smelly dream is vigorously abhorrent and the mere fact that we can read about it and publicly bloat our memory while he roams free is painfully symbolic of how fucked up we all are — collectively.

The fog of hate will not lift on Christmas Day.

The New Year will reinforce all the issues of our existence. President Obama will relinquish his duty as the most relevant house nigger in history. Yes, I said it because it’s true. He and Michelle Obama weathered a plethora of assaults for 8 years — and I know he won the election twice because he was meant to — and there was nothing that was going to prevent that immaculate plan.

Now, all bets are off.

My fingers are chapped and my vision is dimmed. I love this gift that I didn’t expect because I don’t want my people to suffer. I never wanted a show that was erected to make White people feel vindicated and Black people tormented by the shit they already lived though and continue to withstand with inconceivable strength.

But, there is the monster looming over us, and the army of inglorious bastards who will serve as his accomplices.

Christmas will never be the same again.

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